Listening well is a dying art. Yet all of us love it when someone listens well to us!
If you want to show others you value them—especially in modern American society—simply listen to them! Listening is one of the great healing arts.
I’ve curated the following list of 21 challenging quotes on listening. (source: Steve Ogne & Tim Roehl, Transformissional Coaching). As you read, identify the one or two that most clearly impact you about the importance of listening.
Ask yourself: Why does this particular statement move me?
- Convince me better listening will help me succeed as a work colleague, parent, etc.?
- Give me an image or metaphor for why listening is so important?
- Show me how I can positively impact other people that I care about?
One-Liners on Listening
1. “The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” (Daniel W. Davenport)
2. “Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.” (Dr. Joyce Brothers)
3. “The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.” (Richard Moss)
4. “Hearing is a faculty; listening is an art.” (unknown)
5. “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” (M. Scott Peck)
6. “Conversation: a vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.” (Anonymous)
7. “No one ever listened themselves out of a job.” (Calvin Coolidge)
8. “The first duty of love is to listen.” (Paul Tillich)
9. “Big egos have little ears.” (Robert Schuller)
10. “Much silence makes a powerful noise.” (African proverb)
11. “Listening is the single skill that makes the difference between a mediocre and a great company.” (Lee Iacocca)
12. “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked what I thought and attend to my answer.” (Henry David Thoreau)
Thought-starters on Listening
13. “You can’t walk a mile in someone else’s shoes until you take off your own shoes. Communication works for those who work at it. A good listener truly wants to know the speaker.” (Father John Powell, S.J.)
14. “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They are either speaking or preparing to speak.” (Stephen R. Covey)
15. “Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.” (Robert Greenleaf)
16. “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” (Ralph Nichols)
17. “An essential part of true listening is the discipline of bracketing, the temporary giving up or setting aside of one’s own prejudices, frames of reference, and desires so as to experience as far as possible the speaker’s world from the inside, step inside his or her shoes. Moreover, since true listening involves bracketing, a setting aside of the self, it also temporarily involves a total acceptance of the other. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will feel less and less vulnerable and more and more inclined to open up the recesses of his or her mind to the listener.” (M. Scott Peck)
18. “Effective listeners remember that ‘words have no meaning—people have meaning.’ The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us.” (from Effective Listening, Key to Your Success)
19. “When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life…When we listen to people, there is an alternating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other…and it is this little creative fountain inside us that begins to spring and cast up new thoughts and unexpected laughter and wisdom.” (Brenda Ueland)
20. “The key to success is to get out into the store and listen to what the associates have to say. Our best ideas come from clerks and stockboys.” (Sam Walton)
21. “To be listened to is, generally speaking, a nearly unique experience for most people. It is enormously stimulating. It is small wonder that people who have been demands all their lives to be heard so often fall speechless when confronted with one who gravely agrees to lend an ear.” (Robert C. Murphy)
Now that you’ve identified your motivation, build on it!! Choose one or two of the following simple strategies and practice them. Use at least one behavior in three conversations within the next five days.
- Quiet Your Own Agenda.
- Ask More Questions.
- Pay Attention to Your Talk/Listen Ratio (talk less/listen more).
- Repeat Back What You Hear Them Say.
- Wait Until They are Actually Done Talking Before You Respond.
As you try one or more of the above, notice how the person responds to you. Listening is a behavior that anyone can improve with intentional effort.
Decide to become a more intentional listener. Not only will your listening be a great gift to offer others, you will reap rewards yourself.
Question: What happened to convince you of the power of listening? Please share it in a comment.
