“Love your enemies.”
I am one who can thankfully say that, right now, I don’t have a lot of enemies. That has not always been the case.
When faced with enemies, we have a little voice at the back of our mind saying: “Jesus, you don’t REALLY expect me to love my enemies, do you? Obviously, its exaggeration…it’s hyperbole…it’s unrealistic. I can’t do the impossible….I just do the best I can.”
Jesus replies: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
The word Jesus uses is the Greek word “teleioi”—which means “totality,” “whole,” “undivided” or…perhaps best of all…adult and mature. Bible scholar Dale Bruner calls “teleioi” a “width word” rather than a “height word.” Teleioi is the width with which disciples are to embrace others, rather than reaching for a height of impeccable, faultless perfection. “Perfect” is not so much unblemished perfection like a perfect diamond as it is mature and grown up.
Here is how The Message has “be perfect”:
“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
Some other examples of the same word “teleioi” from Paul’s letters include:
“In regard to evil be children, but in your thinking be adults” (1 Cor 14:20)
“All of us who are mature should take such a view of things” (Phil 3:15)
“Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:4)
So: not perfection, but maturity. Jesus thinks this maturity is possible for all of his disciples. Jesus knows that people deeply hunger to be good but cannot find their way. He wants to show us the way.
Jesus uses the future tense for “be perfect” which might be translated—“In the future, you, my trainees, WILL be mature, whole-hearted people.” So, before it’s a command, it’s a promise. Not “be perfect” but “you will be perfect.”
Like a coach who takes on a protégé, or a master craftsman who takes on an apprentice, Jesus says, “this is the direction we’re headed—toward maturity…and I’m going to help you get there.”
How wide does this maturity stretch? Jesus’ disciples are to stretch their kindness across the wide gamut of social relationships, just as the Father lavishes the sun and rain indiscriminately on the bad as well as the good. What the Father does with the sun and rain, we are to do with our smiles, greetings, and love. Even to our enemies.
Who is Your Enemy?
In Jesus’ world, any fellow Jew was part of the “in group” to be warmly greeted as a brother. Any non-Jew was part of the “out group” and ignored. Loving our enemies starts with simply offering the “out group” the same smile we reserve for the “in group.”
Don’t we all have people on our personal “out group” lists?? People we avoid if we spy them in the grocery store before they see us. Kids we hope won’t make eye contact as we walk across the school campus so we won’t have to acknowledge them? It’s natural to treat well those who treat us well. But treating well those who have NOT treated us well—even just greeting them as we greet our friends—even this tiny act takes us down the road toward what Jesus means by “love your enemies.”
You might reply, “You don’t know my enemies!! You don’t know what I’ve suffered. You don’t know how I’ve been hurt, betrayed, hung out to dry…” I’d answer, “you’re right, I don’t know…but Jesus does.”
Jesus knows a thing or two about being betrayed…AND about being hung out to dry. And Jesus thinks what he is saying about loving enemies IS possible….even with YOUR enemies.
Some decades ago I was the pastor of a church where there was a core of people who seemed willing to go to about any length to get me to leave. I was leading the church in a very different direction than that to which they had become accustomed. About 6 or 7 of the 15 Elders were in this group. As one of the Elders who supported me commented after one Elders meeting, “Never in my life have I heard such pure hate..” And she was right. I think some of them did actually hate me. Or at least they hated the changes and discomfort I represented. How well did I love these enemies? Looking back, I’d have to say not very well. But it certainly exercised my spiritual muscles.
God’s Gym
In God’s gym, Jesus is the coach or trainer and all of us who want to become more like the wonderfully attractive person we see in Jesus are his trainees. Or—to use a biblical word that means the same thing—his disciples.
When I first started trying weight training, the trainer showed me how to do the bench press. I wished it could be like a hospital room where I could pull a privacy curtain around me so no one could see the little weights I was lifting. After several repetitions, even the puny little weights on my bar became more than I could lift. The trainer said, “One more! Common on! You can do one more!” With the sweat rolling off my face and my eyes closed, I strained and strained, and slowly…painfully…I pushed the bar up one final time.
When I opened my eyes to set it back in the cradle, I saw that he also had his hands on it. He had provided the power I lacked to lift it that last time, even (with my eyes closed) I thought I was doing it all myself. I provided the intention…I was still trying. But he provided the power.
When Jesus says, “love your enemies,” something very similar happens. We try it in our human strength for a while, but we quickly reach the point where our will power fails and our ability to love runs out. What then?
All we have left is wanting to obey Jesus, even though it feels impossible. And yet when we hang in there and keep trying to obey, trusting that God never asks the impossible—even though it feels impossible—it’s then that Jesus’ resurrection power fills us. We can find ourselves doing some amazing things we’d never thought possible. Even loving our enemies.
Question: What have you discovered in trying to love people you don’t like, or who don’t like you? Please share it in a comment.
Perhaps our greatest challenge in life as human beings.
I have struggled with a sister-in-law, finally avoiding her as much as possible, not even visiting my brother which caused him sadness. Just to avoid her ugly attitude. This was years of avoidance until my brother became very ill and I needed to visit him in the hospital. I prayed and fought what I knew was the right thing to do. I knew what Jesus expected of me, so a big gulp and I went praying all the way that I would not be greeted with her hurt full words. I came away with hope that I could ignore words and express a loving spirit to her. So far I have had the courage to try and befriend her with Jesus love. So far that has been my strength, I can’t depend on myself but Jesus! My brother has throat cancer, they had to put a stint in his throat and all he will be able to eat is food blended in a blender. He had a happy smile on his face when I came to see him, I had not seen him for over a year. He knew his wife’s attitude tword me and didn’t blame me for my absence in his life. God is good at getting my attention.
Doreen, thanks so much for sharing your story. Just as you describe, it’s often within family relationships that this issue becomes most real for some of us.
One difficulty in treating people I don’t like in a loving way is feeling hypocritical.
Debbi, yes, an excellent point! I’ve often felt hypocritical just as you describe. Perhaps this falls under the category C.S. Lewis describes that if we act in certain ways simply out of obedience, eventually the feelings may come. We can hope!
Dear Rich,
Yes, these decades later we still remember and talk about the injustice that was done to you by PPPCC. You became our unintentional interim … it was never fair to you. We are just so happy that you were able to move on and have the successful career you have had … in spite of that experience. We still remember you and Marilyn with much love and fondness. God bless.
Hi Patti, great to hear from you! We’re thankful for all God’s blessings in our lives, including friends like you and Jack!